So I feel like I'm totally lacking some direction...I've recently learned some interesting things...And they are making me wonder about my life...Generally in the direction that where on earth were my parents leading me...There was no direction...None...Everything was to benefit them..Claimed me running the business and passing off high school was to to keep the family going, and a roof over our heads...
As far as religious wise...There was nothing there either...I went to a private Christian kindergarten, that was the extent of that...Anything else I picked up was from distant family and friends...I still sometimes wonder if the ways I belief and think fit somewhere...
I feel like a blank slate... And I don't know who I am...What I want...Things I like to do...I sit and wonder if the things I do are because it's out of habit or if its because I really enjoy it....
*sigh* there is more...I will save part 2 for another day...
8 comments:
Finding one's path in life is not always an easy thing. More often than not we sit back and wait for things to happen to us, which is fine, but while we are waiting we must also keep our eyes open for a new path to walk. Its so easy to get wrapped up in the ho-hum of life and over look the path that might lead us to the next adventure, to the next lesson, to the next valley. Religion is mans coping mechanism for dealing with things that are to big for him, for things unexplained, for feeling so small when he looks up at the night sky. Religion isnt important, what is important is undertsanding the world and universe around you, understanding what it is you are here to do. Praying to a Higher power and asking it to solve all your problems for you, and to forgive you for your tresspasses is not what will gain you growth or evolution or hell even enlightenment. Its sad that somepeople think that something greater than them will come along and solve their problems for them and that they will get a free ride to a higher existance. It doesnt work that way, we have to learn, we have to grow, we have to change. Its only something we can do ourselves, nobody is gonna it for us. You are who you are Anna, your the person who lights up childrens faces and hearts with rubbery creations of joy, you are the laid back relaxed queen of your castle, you do the things you do because its what you want to do. If you didnt enjoy the things you do you wouldnt do them. Humans by nature do not continue doing things that they dont like doing, when we come across things that we dont enjoy we stop. Its our nature to do so. And onnnne last thing, stop blogging at 1am!! 1am is the cursed time for bloggers, and is notorious for being the most depressing time of night for the human psyche!
wow pookie, I like to believe thier is a god, but we must not expect him to perform a miricle in front of us, just subtle hints to let us know he is there. Now as for paths or such in life we all go through this. I feel similar to you. except i have a bit of different circumstances. I wonder what my mom was supose to have taught me. but now i can say its what not to do. dont go getting to deep just take life one day at a time and think about your choices as they come along its easy to feel like a pea in this huge universe. maybe we should get together more often and talk so we dont go getting depressed so much! love ya like a sis together we will discover what there is out there for us to find.
Pooki who are you...I think you nailed it here.
We must keep our eyes open for the new paths. It maybe that our current habits and joys will block us from certain paths or it might open new ones. But you are the deciding factor on which path you take.
As for church i mostly have to agree with pooki but Church/religion may be another way to help you find the path. I would like to think the church is just another way of freinds (who beleive the same) to get together. this support group may help you solve your problems, but you are in control.
Don't get me wrong i beleive in god...but maybe not toatlly in the church.
Mrsditchrunner we cant expect our god(s) to do things for us, or preform miricles, but guess what? Mainstream society does. Anyways i'm not gonna argue it, i'm too tired hehe.
Heidi, the three fastest growing religions (as of the last census i saw) are in this order, Muslim, Paganism, Chrisitanity. Over the last few years due to the problems in the world(specially 9/11) people have been coming together more and more in their religous communitys not solely because of their faith but because of the support they all lend to one another. Your analogy of the support group is really righton. But at the same time more and more people are questioning what they believe in, questioning what is truely out there and churches are becoming hollow and empty as people are leaning more on each other and less on faith alone, and its in those moments that people begin to think and question. Escpecially our brave soliders that are fighting in the war. The following if you care to read it is something that i posted in a E-group i belong to. I'm only adding it to this cause its related to what i just said about questioning.
****I'd like to counter your quote patti with this one.
"Have you ever dealt with people who have lost everything in just an
hour? In the morning you leave the house where your wife, your
children, your parents live. You return and you find a smoking pit.
Then something happens to you--to a certain extent you stop being
human. You do not need any glory, money anymore; revenge becomes your
only true joy. And because you no longer cling to life, death avoids
you, the bullets fly past. You become a wolf. ~Russian General
aleksander Lebed, veteran of Afganistan~"
We just passed another 9/11 aniversary, while i feel nothing towards
the matter, as its 4 years past and whats done is done, i would like
to take a moment and reflect just how much the US has become like that
quote. I think as the times get harder, and the world returns to war
as it has in ages past people are looking again to traditions long
forgotten. Within the last year i have brought paganism into 4 lives.
i, a student myself, someone barely a shaman in anything but a name,
not even close to knowing all a wiccan priest/priestess does, have
become a teacher. I've enjoyed it imensely, never would i have thought
that sharing the little i know could start 4 other lives onto a path
that to this day has enriched their lives fully. I've been watching
the world around me, and i've seen the changes. I've seen people who
would have died by the "Holy Bible", pick up a introductory wicca
guide book, and a celtic hisotry book and sit down at the book store to read. (busted some people
i knew when i saw em at borders). Its my belief that the world runs in
cycles, and i think a time is going to come where churches are going
to crumble and gardens are gonna grow, i think more and more we'll
find communitys going to the latenight gathering at the wood instead
of the late night sermon. The quote above says "...You return and you
find a smoking pit. Then something happens to you--to a certain extent
you stop being human. You do not need any glory, money anymore;
revenge becomes your only true joy. And because you no longer cling to
life, death avoids you, the bullets fly past. You become a wolf." what
happens to the man who wakes up with his enemys dead at his feet, the
war is over, and the wolf stands on two legs instead of four after the
revenge is over, and he asks where is his god? by all accounts how
could his god allow something like that to happen to him. ( i am pro bush so dont even think of this as slander against the war, i totaly think we are doing the right thing)After the
shell shock fades and he asks where his god is...and that is where it
starts. But its not just the soldiers that are questioning, but middle america as well. Despite the fact that this modern day is the christain priest/bishops dream come true i personaly feel that due to the current events people are starting to look elsewhere for answers...****
ok i had no intent whatsoever to ramble on like that but once a tangent starts why not finish it eh?
9/11 brought the United States together like death usually does. What I didn’t see in the news is what brought the terrorist to this. The mass majority doesn’t understand what the “enemy” believes in or what brought them to hating us so much. The United States is trying to prove that our ways should be the ways of the world and our media does help. They tend to not show the “the enemy” as believers but as murderers. We have seen what the media has created with Hurricane Katrina.
Don’t get me wrong I totally support our soldiers. I have many friends in the Middle East fighting, and I pray for them. I want bin laden caught and the terrorist bombings to cease. I would love nothing more then to see the women over there educated and treated as equals but those are my wants. Is that right? The US pushing our beliefs or lack of - on those who have lived so differently.
I also believe we have gotten off track over there. It is no longer about finding answers or the people who were responsible. Revenge has blinded us to the fact that 9/11 was an excuse for the US to go back there and gain control over their government, to put the right people in place so that we can continue to feed off of their oil. It is not about weeding out terrorist anymore or revenge it is about the control of their Oil. I have researched this- it is - and always has been - about oil, for the US anyway. If we loose their oil we loose our way of life.
It is all part of the human mind. If we can’t control or understand it we turn somewhere else, blame someone else, or make up lies to get what we want. There are years of studies showing that people tend to react and go through the same emotional rollercoaster when put in similar situations. Someone hurts your family you will go through the same emotional turmoil that everyone else goes through, what is different is how you handle that emotion. Revenge may be part of that but revenge will also blind you to your ultimate goal and the answers you are seeking.
We can’t understand how anyone else comes to the final answer of what they believe in or how they choose to live. There are too many factors that play into our personal decisions that no one else can truely understand. Some of it is taught some of it is searched out. I have no clue what a pagan believes in…in fact until just recently the word pagan only brought on visions of Virgin sacrifices and devil worshiping.
To me it is not what religion you are. In fact I prefer not to hold a label and I shy away from people who have labeled them selves. For a true believer is rare. You can not twist gods word to meet your needs. I am a mortal; I do not have the answers to say that one faith is better then the other. The books that we read, to help us find these answers are mans interruption. Each man will see what they need to see and each man will find different answers in the same literature. Just look how many religions are based on the bible, but they all believe differently. I believe Jesus is my savior and I love the fact that someday I will be reunited with those that I truly love and cherish. Someone is watching over me, I know because I am truly blessed!!!
Anna, when searching for answers you must question first. As you research your questions you will then you will find your way. They key is you must listen to your heart to find your path, you know what is right. And while you are looking you must ask “is that me or just what the crowd is doing?”
Don’t forget to live and love life, sometimes the answers come from living and not dwelling………
(This is all me Anna, who cares what reaction it will bring… oh yeah that last line advice…I think I will try it out)
everyone is entitled to their opinion heidi...regardless of what others think, but i've noticed a lot of things influence that...however i'm glad It's all you girl :o)I will always love you no matter what... and thank you for being one of the greatest friends I will ever have *hugs*
Your oil theory is all consiracy and smoke and mirrors!!!!! SMOKE AND MIRRORS I SAY MAUHAHAHAHAH!! anyways all joking aside theres enough juice up in ANWAR to keep the US going for years and years and years. We need ot shoot the hippies and teh tree huggers so we can get that stuff pumped out up there. Arab oil aint all that, not compared to good ol' Alaskan Grown!
Smoke and mirrors ....no way. I guess i kind of got off subject there huh?
We like alaskan grown! anything!! we need to suceed(sp) from the US. i hear Hawaii is.
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