Thank You

The last year of my journey through life has been interesting...to say the least. I thought I found "the one"the man I would surely spend the rest of my life with...I seemed to be content in this...we had goals, Ideas...and most of all a plan. We ran into some obstacles that we both hurdled well...so I thought...I look back at the last year and wonder where I myself went...together we made decisions and overcame many things. Throughout our relationship...many people told me I could do better...but really is there a such thing?...or is it what you make of it?...sometimes I think once again my mother stepped in the way and made it what she needed. But then I wonder how much of the relationship was an act...How long do people go on with the "I Love You's" before one or the other realizes that you are saying it just to be nice...and what kind of love is that....really. There are so many times I wish he would have just said....Hey I have a problem...But no he hid and kept it from me as to protect my feelings....How much protection is a lie?...Instead it felt like I was sitting in a dark room on a cold night...alone. This just tells me even more so...I lost me...Where did I go?.... What did I really want?...Love...That big HUGE four letter word...That is truly what I was looking for. I really thought I would find that... It was something we both longed for in life. I have come to a realization though...

I have found that...Not in my family, not in a man...But in other sorts of family, I truly hope that these people and their family and network know this. They have become a part of my heart in no way anyone else ever could. I believe most of you know who I'm talking about (the Baxter's, the Mclays, and the rest of the Harrington family) I really truly want to thank all of you for open minds and hearts. You have truly touched a person. I feel as though I really do have a family that cares...Truly cares. Thank you for seeing me as a person. You are all wonderful people. A special thank you to Shana's family for accepting me and giving me a chance to start over and get my feet under me once again. It is such a wonderful feeling to know I have real friends...You have done more for me than even my family would jump to. I really hope you all understand how much I appreciate you, and I know I can't say it enough nor are these few words enough to describe...but it is what I have...THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.