Saturday, July 28, 2007

Hmmm...kinda lost as to where to start...not a whole lot going on. other than just waiting. talked to my aunt in Wassilla today, she says I need to do everything in my power for my parents. or when something happens I'm going to have regrets. but at the same time I can only help them if they want to help themselves...but how can they do that when they don't think there is anything wrong. what d I need to call Adult services and animal control...god I could just see her turning my life upside down then...it would be hell on wheels. But I'm not going to allow her to have me over there at her beckon call all the time cooking and cleaning for them when ll it does is make me crrraaazzzyyy...that and they wont let me do what really needs to be done. grrrr....so yea we are paying the credit card of, we have everything else up to date,
so then we can just leave. I'm pretty much going to go over there and say ok look this is what i have to offer, you need to make these choices, i have this much time, and these are your options. and if thay decide not to do it well I give up. And my family is going to hate me. can't even get my brothers to return e-mails or calls, they are just glad i'm here and they arent. makes me want to just disapear into the horizon...sever all contact, and pretend i don't know anything...

1 comment:

Shana said...

Regret is a very negative emotion...it has a positive counter part too...self acceptance...we can only change what we have control over...our selves. You will have regrets...not much in life goes by without them...but...you have to way the pros and cons...no matter which choice you chose...you will have regrets in the long run...we can not do everything in one life time...In twenty years you will probably still be alive...where will your regrets lie then? I know you know in your heart what to do...and Tough love is sometimes the hardest thing in the world...but push away the negative feelings...they will rot your soul...find the positive and hang on to them tight...they will make your life worth living.