Hmmm...kinda lost as to where to start...not a whole lot going on. other than just waiting. talked to my aunt in Wassilla today, she says I need to do everything in my power for my parents. or when something happens I'm going to have regrets. but at the same time I can only help them if they want to help themselves...but how can they do that when they don't think there is anything wrong. what d I need to call Adult services and animal control...god I could just see her turning my life upside down then...it would be hell on wheels. But I'm not going to allow her to have me over there at her beckon call all the time cooking and cleaning for them when ll it does is make me crrraaazzzyyy...that and they wont let me do what really needs to be done. grrrr....so yea we are paying the credit card of, we have everything else up to date,

so then we can just leave. I'm pretty much going to go over there and say ok look this is what i have to offer, you need to make these choices, i have this much time, and these are your options. and if thay decide not to do it well I give up. And my family is going to hate me. can't even get my brothers to return e-mails or calls, they are just glad i'm here and they arent. makes me want to just disapear into the horizon...sever all contact, and pretend i don't know anything...

OK so I'll try to make it a little longer for you...just a couple more letter...now it is longer?...yea yea ok a real post...I WANNA RUN AWAY...I'm ready to take my man the dog and everything we own and run away from my family and never return....never talk to them...hell why don't I just change my name. My mom is spreading rumors. my brother that is suppose to own both these houses won't return my calls. my mom is playing the oh I'm dying game. my dad is really sick and she's having him call and be like can you do this and that and this and that...*sigh* but it's not just them either. My cousin has missed me in the last 10 years and really thinks i need to just stay here with her and forget about Brian. everyone else here think i can do better and blah blah blah...what if I think he is the best I can do and I do want to build a life with him. Jeez...can't seem to get people to quit worrying about my life.

My mom has so put me on a pedestal to these people...shit she even told my cousin that I actually did graduate high school and finish college....oh and Shana...you'll love this one...all those little things that my mom never unpacked to use so she came down here and bought new one...guess who has all the stuff I asked for when my mom left Alaska....guess what...my cousin has all of it!...the mixer, her knifes...stupid little things that just made me go wow...after all that...anyhow...im going back to sleep night night

I'm Back

Just wanna say hiiiii! I'm back online again...and even my own computer wooowooo!!!

Hi there...just FYI I'm moved over to my cousins, and there is Internet over there but I am having problems with my video card so I may be distant for a bit, but i will be in and out of my moms and i promise I will still post.