Pooki...

well ladies you'll be proud...He's done I'm tired of his whiney ass bullshit....thats it nothing else...no more.

..we are be psycologicaly, and socialy different...HELL YEA Tony we are... I will always know that... thank you for reminding me what a wonderful person I am... Doubt you'd know that thought I don't belive you really know anything about me or who i really am..because if you did you wouldnt think that...anywho...once again Have a nice life Tony!...


Ok so another fine example of why we shouldnt tolerate men...i have to admit in the last few months i've totaly found some self esteem...and realized alot about my own self that i never understood. i'm actually feeling good about me and who I am for a change...anywho back to work..oh wait no sleepy time first...laters

MEME thing

Jobs I Have Had But Have Lie About Having So As To Make Myself Appear Less of a Dork:
One:
independent steel...I think that's the name...I was a dork...I am a dork

Movies I Have Great Difficulties Understanding:
I totally agree with "Sin city" ...Way too much going on there...I understand the comic book effect...But gee golly...

Places In Which I Want To Vacation:
Bora Bora
Tahiti
Paris
Portugal


Foods I Cannot Stand:
stoffer's Mac & cheese...BLAHHHHH!

Places I'd Rather Not Be, Thank You Very much:
anywhere within 3000 miles of my mother!

Albums In My Collection I Blame On the Husband:
I don't have one of those...MUAHAHAHAH so none of them are my fault right???..But I could blame my brother since they were all his...

Vehicles I Have Nearly Totaled:
heh..Myy parents 92' Chevy suburban..
oops..Myy 97' Chevy silverado..
ummmIi thinkthat'ss all

I am tagging:ummmmmmm....Tony...Shana..Hopp to it girlie.Umm Alaine MUAHAHHA

Wow...it's great to know I have awesome friends! thank you...you've all helped me become who I am Today...I couldn't ask for better friends. You all remind me that ..yea I can do it...no matter the obsticle...I love you guys

and I will get around to your little questionthingiemabob...soonish..hehe..my brain isn't up to questions right now...took me 30 min to get this far lol

Moods

Yup...thats right i'm in a mood...ready to pick a fight...ok not a fight just a really good argument...after work today i had trouble shutting the liquor store bitch off...might have had something to do with working 10 days straight at one job and working a second too...and being told my night off was canceled...oh yea lets not forget the 300 cases of booze that were delivered today...that was fun...

Heh...so don't mind me...Grin and bear it right?...well here goes...just stay out of my way damnit lol...chugga chugga woo woo...like lu says...

I love this little "Title" box...heh...you figure it out

Ever feel that way???

OK..So those of you that want to laugh because now I'm faced with a child....First let me remind you A)I have worked many years caring for 6 little people at one time of all different ages...B) I may come off quiet but ...I'm very stubborn...I learned from the best...

..HOWEVER...Let me tell you something 5 YEAR OLDS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!.....GRRRR...Ok so grandma is sick...so I get to pick up little person at daycare..feed her and get her ready for bed..after woring 8 hours 7 days in a row...bedtime rolls around...Little person thinks she needs to sleep with grandma...No you don't need to get sick.."Yes I want to be sick"..No your going to bed in your bed..."No I'm sick"....heh ......And yea..Well after being carried to her room...I somehow managed to ignore the arguing and get her pjs on...Then got her in bed unwillingly...Got kicked and hit and even spit at I do believe...I managed to remain calm through...Walked out the door and well yea I kinda held it shut behind me...But I did manage to get some new toys before they made holes in the door...I always wanted a stick pony...oooh and a big pink crayola piggy bank...heh...Needed something to put my change in.....Yea anyhow...

I WON!!!!!....MUAHAHAHHA...52 min....She's sound asleep...

thanks to my guidance counselor..Awesome moral support and good tips...Kept me from duct taping her to the ceiling...

oooh but yes my bed is calling to me...I won I won hehehe....I will win...She will see...
I need to clean my room sooooo bad..Yea gee..Wish I had a day off sometime soon..But noooo...Dream on babe...alrighty my eyes are falling asleep without me..Off to bed I go...laters

My room

Ok so i couldn't think of a whole lot to blog about since i've mostly been working...so I took pictures of my new room...it's totally rockin and i'm lovin it...wow that sounded like a comercial if i've ever heard one...anywho....enjoy!

Look What I did...Haha Mommy I painted on my walls..

Isn't it cool!..I'm so proud of my self...And I just wanna jump up and down and taunt my mom..I'm aloud to paint on my walls...So its about 4ft by 5ft. anywho I have more I'll add to it eventually...It's nice to beable to put that creative spark to use when I have it...And actually have it be ok. Any ideas on what else I should add to the collage?...

Oh yea so I like totally busted my toe last night...Once again I fell up the stairs...Broke my big toe..I had my nurse look at it just to make sure it wasn't the foot and I needed to go in or something..But I got home and now its all purple and blue yay fun and my foot is like twice the size of my right foot...grrrr....anywho....

Heidi I MISS YOU!!!!!!!...You to JD...*sigh*.....Cant say the same about the neighbor boy... heh

*Phew* .... I'm all moved...And settled in for the most part still a box here and there...But those are yea well...I'm sure you know. I'm loving my new place it's totally awesome...The lady of the house is great. Totally open and understanding...Artistic, creative...Just awesome..She rocks...I think I'm going to learn a lot here. Its great cause when I'm here there usually isn't anyone else here...And when I'm here and working the little person is sleeping *evil laugh* hehehe... Working two jobs is tough..But I know it's not the first time and it won't be the last..So we will see...I think this is going to be really good for me...There are a few interesting things I'll have to get used to...But nothing so far I can't handle besides an extremely open household..Which actually probly good for me...Cause yea well we all know how twisted I am...But I have to say the new year has brought me a lot of new and awesome things...

so I did a search for myself...Yes I was bored...I found me!...This is what I found...*Movie* ... Wow high school...YAY! lol

hmmm okies well I wanted to blog and say HI!!! I'm here...And totally happy ...I feel so much better about me and who I'm becoming...laters everyone *MUAH*

Caos and Serenity

So my life has one again fallen into disarray...Craziness..Always..So I'm blogging because ...Well in fact I'd rather my mother didn't know about this stuff..So those of you with your connections...Yea shhhh!

I"M MOVING!!!! woowooo...Yea I know I said I never would...But yea well life happens...I got another job...I think the company I work for is punishing me for that..But well hey I gotta do what I gotta do..

the new year has brought many a good things to me, some new opportunities, new people, a new job,,a fixed truck *grin* I so wanna do a dance...hehehe

So I also met someone pretty cool the other day..Totally someone on my level, and an awesome conversationalist...We'll have to see...No ne the less another kick ass friend.

anywho sorry I haven't been around to blog but I will soon! I gotta get moved and settled...If anyone would like to volunteer a vehicular or some muscles they would be greatly appreciated...*grin*

laters...I will be back

Rage against the homeless

Alright, so I know I haven't blogged anything meaningful in a while so I might as well it's my day off and I'm procrastinating doing laundry. I've mostly been working..So yea that's about all I talk about now...Hey maybe I'll have another job soon! *rolling eyes*..But anyhow

So, company policy says we can't serve the homeless...Lots of reasons...Valid ID..Drinking in public..Shoplifting,begging..And the list goes on....

So it is a constant battle...Always..

Day 1...

I'm behind the counter just hangin out...My coworker is sitting out front smoking...Still withing eye line (coworker signals)...homeless lady walks into the store...Native, late 50's, about 6 layers of clothes on and in serious need of a bath...Not a shower a good soak...Ok maybe a few soaks...As she walks past the counter and my watchful eye...I noticed she'd peed her pants..hmm...The stench follows...She comes to the counter..

Ah yes.. I think to myself..hmm this should be interesting...Where's the lysol..

Ok so she comes to the counter..Big less than toothy grin... The stench of urine and booze waifs over the counter..I politely smile and ask for id as I look over her shoulder to see my coworker outside shakin her head and giving me the tap on the nose...I was one step ahead..

hmm no ID...Well mam to be in our store your required to have ID...Well I'm 57 she says can't you see that...Well lets try this...mam have you Been drinking this evening...mm well no I I was just getting done babysitting I want a beer now...hmm yea well have you been drinking already?
no..hmmm well I can smell liquor on you...Well I just woke up I had a few beers last night...Oh I thought you were babysitting...(damn who's letting her watch their kids)...hmmm well company policy says I cant serve you because I can smell liquor so ill have to ask you to leave...She left not very willingly ...But a quick threat to Call the police or CSP hurried her out the door...

Mind you it took three days of this before she gave up it was to the point she wouldn't get but two steps in the door and we'd have to tell her she was 86'ed and was trespassing...

There are a few here and there that we just know...All we do is ask for ID when they walk in and they turn around and walk out...About 4 or 5 of them anyways...

There is this one...Tend to stand across the street and beg money from bar goers...ID guess he got kicked out of the local mini mart / liquor store now though...He's started to ask people to just flat out but him a beer... There has been a couple times he's had customers ask up to watch them walk across the parking lot with their stuff because he'll follow them...Now come on dude your standing across the street so drunk your puking between begging patrons...Priorities I suppose...

so Christmas rolls around and they all think the rules don't apply...I saw every one of them that day...They were gathered around the street in herds. This one man in particular caused quite the mess..The one I mentioned earlier...He'd worked his way around the block and managed to hide on the side of the building we didn't have a camera on and next to the restaurant...Cause they all know if they aren't on our property we cant do anything... He's coaxing customers over to him and begging beers from them because its Christmas...Well they get a drunk guy to come in...And well he was drunk I picked up on that one rather quick like...However since the intoxication had set inhe decided to share his knowing...He started off with "you know what I'm really up to huh?"...Well yes indeed I do sir...I'm listening...I'm buying for homeless....I said awww how nice cause its Christmas huh? Yea its really nice of me huh.... Well that's too bad sir cause I cant sell to you anyways...But thanks and have a great night...

black guy comes in buys a pack of phillies...2 min. Later walks in again and tries to buy the same 2 40's that the other guy bought...hmmm well this is interesting lets see what happens...He bought them...Walked across the street and dropped them in the snow...NO WAY...Well he just got himself 86'ed...And the rage against the homeless goes on...

rethinking things

So like nothing new is going on...I've been going out a little more meeting some people...its been really cool...never quite new what i was missing... ..thats kinda something if nothing else hehehe..I understood that if none else did.

i've been changeing a lot in the last few months...especially since my parents left...I had to rethink my whole life...and learn a whole new set of lessons that trust me i learn somethin new every day.

god have i got to rearange somethings...cheers!

Birthday return

So this hunk of metal crashed...*sigh* another $260 out of my check...glad i get some holiday pay on my next check.

So I missed everyone...i'll have to do some catching up i'm sure...lots of reading yay!

*doin a dance* today is my Birthday WOowoo...22..hmm yea i have a feeling this is going to be a conerstone year in my life lots of things are changeing, im hopefull for new beginings , lessons and some great times no doubt!...I missed everyone so much the last few weeks...

Thank you ladies for an awesome B-day I love you...you guys are great to me.

i got to talk to my daddy today for about 30 min...I so miss him. I cried like a baby..I miss him so much..he sounds better...but i can still hear the pain in his voice...*sigh* welcome to life. I still wish he was around sometimes...sure could use a hug now and then.

my day off...woooo

I put up my Christmas tree today...

Another day

GRRRRR...a big fat GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! *sigh* so have you ever wanted to shake people until they up and smell the freakin coffee? or just realize they are answering their own questions?...or maybe what they are looking for is right in front of them but no matter how much you point it out and show them they don't get it?!?!?!...ooo oo how about this one...or maybe they are so stuck in their own way they are too blind to see anything????...amybe just takeing a chance in life...can't get anywhere if you don't start somewhere...yea one big fat GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! but this is all just in my head!!!!
(I plead the 5th..all explinations must be aquired later)

(don't ask)

(ok maybe)

Oh yea I forgot I was blogging...oops...heh

anyways so i'm loving work...I'm worried about moving to this new huge store I kinda like the hole in the wall i'm at. I think things are falling into place, I like my job, im paying my bills...ontime none the less...i'm still thinking about school..i just really dont know there are lots of pro's & cons there....but anyhow...

I'm feeling really out of place in my own room...Like it's not me anymore...I've changed so much in the last year..I think its time for a change..unfortunetly i still wanna just take everything down and start over...but I cant...there are somethings i need so I will have to do it piece by piece..

I've also been feeling very artsy latley...I'm thinking i'm going to start some sort of artistic journal...i've really had the craving to use some different meterials and canvasess...I'll have to find some time to work on theese things...anyhow it's getting early...g'night all

heh

Heh...More...drunks

Ok so tonight...figured to be a slow monday right?...MUAHAHAHA

So Mr. Jose Cuervo was getting legs....noticed we were missing a few.. .well I'm hangin out being bored when one of our regulars came in. started puttsin around bottles 'browsing" whatever
as soon as another customer came in i noticed him head straight for jose. well Alaine happend to walk out of the back and catch him sliding jose down his pants...nice...86'ed for life! yea right he'll try to come back again...we'll get him...jerk!

If your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. When you're finished, post these instructions on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Drunkenness in public..Chapter one

Reason to refuse a sale...
1.Under 21
2. Accompanied by under 21 (sometimes parked in car around corner or behind building(under camera) or at the gas station next door.
3.more than 2 visits to the store for liquor in one night.
4.fake ID
5.Expired ID
6.Intoxicated #1 I can smell beer or liquor on your ass!
7.Intoxicated #2 You can't stand up straight.
8. Intoxicated#3 I saw you walkin down the street and I know you can't walk a straight line.
9.intoxicated #4 I sold you three 40oz beers an hour ago....Did you lose them????
10. Due to previous "behavior" you've been 86'ed SUCKER!...Get outta my store!..MUAHAHAHA

And the last and most important reason to not serve someone Booze?....
10. CAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO!...Be nice sucker!


OK so obviously I'm rather having fun at the liquor store...Thought I might have to share some experiences with you guys...Might get a chuckle out of them.

OK...Day #3 Liquor store #1
Man walks into store, steps around counter to gaze at expensive whisky...Dividend time so who knows... I am standing three Ft. Away...Watching...One bottle...Two bottles...hmmm 3 bottles oops no that ones too big *click*...heh he's not stickin around..*note to self*...6ft, older, grayish shaved head, at least 6ft., 230lbs.,blue and black flannel shirt...Oh look he's coming up to the counter...NOT! This man suddenly morphs into a marathon runner and out the door and down the street...Clerk #1 & #2 chase and take the phone with them of course...me...Helping left over customers...So that was a "Grab & Go" ...Nice training

Day #3 Liquor store #1
Later that evening...
2 younger Military gentlemen enter store in Class A's and Black tie...Interesting...Try to purchase beer..ID is required ya know...Oh wait your friend isn't 21...Sorry you need to leave (did I mention we keep their ID...$1000 fine ya know...Says so...You know that big yellow sign on the door?) guy under 21 refuses to trade military ID for state ID...MUHAHAHA..You'll be doing push ups in the morning...Phone rings an hour later...Can I swap for a State ID..heh...Your not allowed in the store sir...$1000 fine every time...Call management in the morning...heh

Day#3 Liquor store #1
Even later that evening...
Lady comes in...Buys cigarettes & bottle of wine...Normal...30min laers...Lady #2 comes into store...Mentions Lady #1 is in parking lot crying hysterically...*sigh*..Go see what's up...Yup definitely...Lady#1 won't say anything...hmm...Can I help you?, did your ride leave you?, were you walking?, are you hurt....No answer...Just crying..Oh she's trying to talk..."I'm drunk" heh..Well that explains a lot... Mam can you get up and come to the store?....Yea right...Oh yea use the wall for support...Police still haven't shown up for the grab & go...Don't call them....Lady comes into store...Props herself across the counter...Gentleman walks into store....Lady walks out...Not going far that's for sure...Sits on curb....attempts to light cigarette. Calling CPS...15min wait...hmm well its better than the cops....Man purchases...Walks out...Drunk lady found another seat....In his cab. Drunk lady unwilling get out of cab...Sits back on curb...Store closing time ...No CPS...hmmmno drunk lady either...Oh well lights out night night LOL

Update...

Hmmm...so I wonder if I still have an audience of Bloggers...we'll see.

So yup...still workin..still liking it. I havent managed to get myself in trouble or fired so im doin pretty good. I really like the people I work with. the customers are always questionable LOL...go figure.

I feel like i'm on the totally opposite schedual of everyone i know, so unless its in the morning...I don't get to see or talk to anyone. *sigh*..mostly been helping Shana move to her new house in my free time. I got to do laundry today....that sounds pathetic...I think ms. heidi thought i was a gohst when I came to see her the other day. *sigh* Tony, I miss talking to you. I'm sorry my emotions have been in a jumble. I hope sooner than later I can refocus, and hopefully manage to find time to talk with you...maybe I can even convince ya to come see me *grin* hehehe












So I got my answer...I miscarried three days ago...no mistaking that one. Never been in so much pain or seen so much blood in my life. anyhow..I'll stay away from details. I'm really not sure how I feel right now. This is really the first time i've sat down to actually process something in the last week or so. I havn't been sleeping hardly at all...I do know i'm all messed up emotionally... kinda glad I havn't had the time to sit down and think. I'm not really greiving, I'm bummed, but I also know if it was ment to happen it would have. I can't change that. I'm also happy it happened naturally and not by the hand of a doctor. however I'm also kinda glad my life won't be turned upside down, and I will still be able to live here, and have an opportunity to live my life. But I do worry about missing out on the experience, and with my past health history if I will ever get to enjoy the experiences that go along with haveing children. Only time will tell on that one.

My parents are broke down in Iowa...again. well they made it half way *rolling eyes*...wish they would have listened to me...but hey.

Guess what the scale said this morning...260lbs...*doin a dance*...I'm so proud of myself *grin* not sure I believe it...but hey I can try.

Suckage...

Seemed like a bad day all around...
Cept shana getting to move in to her house...Have I mentioned...IT ROCKS woowoooo...

S.T.A.S.H.

To the Right ladies...


*sigh*..So I got my answer on the baby thing...Not what I wanted, however probly the best all around. I totally feel like I need to take a step away from life and think about me and what I really want.I worry I've damaged a relationship, one that could have been a life long friendship, with a really great person...Don't know that it will ever be the same. I'm really willing to give it another chance..but I need to refocus on my life first.

Feel like I blew it I shouldn't have let it get my hopes up...*sigh* and I really don't want to call all the docs and cancel my apptmnts. I hate listening to them :(

really wish right now I had someone to snuggle and fall asleep with..Yea yea ladies I know...Pull out the vib....But its not like that.

anywho..I'm gonna go pass out...Night night